When You’re Someone That Others Rely On
February is often associated with love, relationships and connection. But while Valentine’s Day tends to focus on romantic love, there’s another form of love that often goes unnoticed – the kind shown by the people who spend their time supporting everyone else.
Parents, healthcare workers, teachers, business owners, managers… the people who hold families together, lead teams, care for others and carry responsibility quietly in the background.
These are often the same people who are last on their own priority list.
The Hidden Cost of Always Being “The Strong One”
When you’re responsible for others, your nervous system is rarely truly at rest. You’re constantly thinking ahead, problem-solving, anticipating needs and managing pressure, even when things appear calm on the surface.
Over time, this creates a state of chronic low-level stress in the body.
This doesn’t always show up as feeling “stressed”. More often it shows up physically, in ways people tend to normalise:
– Persistent neck and shoulder tension
– Recurring headaches
– Lower back pain
– Poor or restless sleep
– Fatigue that doesn’t improve with rest
– Feeling mentally “foggy” or drained
From a physiological point of view, this makes sense. When your nervous system is in a constant state of alert, your muscles stay more guarded, your breathing becomes shallower, recovery is reduced and your body never fully switches into repair mode.
In simple terms: supporters carry more load and their bodies feel it.
Why We So Often Ignore Our Own Bodies
One of the patterns we see again and again is that people who look after others are very good at coping but not always very good at listening to themselves.
They often:
• Normalise discomfort (“it’s just part of life”)
• Put everyone else’s needs first
• Don’t want to “make a fuss”
• Only seek help when something becomes unmanageable
Over time, this can lead to people living in a constant state of low-level pain, tension or exhaustion, without ever stopping to ask: “Is this actually normal for my body?”
Five Ways You Can Protect Your Own Health
Looking after yourself doesn’t require a complete lifestyle overhaul. Small, consistent habits make the biggest difference, especially for busy parents and professionals.
Here are some simple but powerful ways to support your own wellbeing:
1. Build in “micro-recovery”
Short moments of recovery throughout the day are often more realistic than long periods of rest. this can include: Stepping outside for a few minutes, Slowing your breathing, Stretching between tasks, Taking a proper lunch break without screens.
2. Move little and often
Movement is one of the most effective ways to reduce stress in the body. You don’t need intense workouts. Walking, gentle mobility, stretching and changing position regularly all help regulate muscle tension and energy levels.
3. Protect your sleep
Sleep is where most physical and neurological recovery happens. Prioritising sleep routines, reducing late-night screen use and creating a calm evening wind-down can make a significant difference to how your body feels day to day.
4. Listen to early signals
Pain, stiffness, headaches and fatigue are not random. They are your body’s way of communicating. The earlier you pay attention, the easier it is to prevent small issues becoming long-term patterns.
5. Let yourself receive support
Ask for help and allow yourself to be supported. We support and look after many people who need that extra little support. Chiropractic care is a great way to reduce all of that built up tension and reduce stress in the body.
Looking After Yourself Isn’t Indulgent – You can’t pour from an empty cup!
There’s a common belief that self-care is something you do after everyone else is taken care of. In reality, your ability to support others is directly linked to how well you look after yourself. When your body is run down, tense or exhausted, patience reduces, your energy drops and everything feels harder. Taking care of your health isn’t about being selfish. It’s about being able to show up fully, consistently and sustainably for the people who rely on you.
Supporting Your Body at Chislehurst Chiropractic Clinic
At Chislehurst Chiropractic Clinic, many of the people we see are parents and professionals who have spent years putting their own wellbeing last.
We love to support those who spend their lives supporting others – whether that’s through chiropractic care, massage, rehabilitation or simply creating a space where people can slow down and reconnect with their bodies.
If you know someone who is always looking after everyone else but never themselves, this February might be a good time to remind them that their health matters too. Pass this blog post on to someone that you think needs to put themselves first. Or maybe share your membership referral vouchers with someone you love this ValenSPINES day.
Because the strongest people often need support the most – they’re just the least likely to ask for it.
